“I just decided to.”

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

This has to be one of my all-time favorite quotes-it instructs a person to just learn to flow with things, and not go against nature. Seems like practical enough advice, a decent way to avoid drama and not get sucked into worrying about things you simply have no control over.

So why the hell is it so hard for me to do lately?

liked being calm and cool about things no matter the situation, and just rolling with whatever gets thrown my way. No BS, no regrets, just complete confidence that I knew I was doing the right thing, making the right decision, if you agree with me and want to ride along, cool, if not, that’s cool too. Pressure didn’t matter, I was certain I could face it. Did I always keep cool and stay collected? Of course not, I think everyone has those moments where they feel like they were on the verge of cracking…I’d always do my best not to show it though, and I think I succeeded.

(Before I go any further, I should probably add this: I’m not writing this based on one situation or one decision. Really.)

I miss that me. I’ve been questioning a good majority of things I do for months. Are the stakes a bit higher? Probably, but that never bothered me before. I could willfully detach emotionally from a situation in the past, but that’s been absolutely difficult. I’ll still follow my instincts, but not with the conviction I usually followed them with because I’m not sure how it’ll play out or I’m going to pull a Mosby or I’m going to Britta a situation (and there are your pop culture references for this post…How I Met Your Mother and Community in case you were curious).

The confidence is fleeting, and I don’t like it. Not one bit. So now the question becomes: what to do about it? (Besides be like water)

Talking it out is alright…writing it out like this is good too. And sometimes it might just be worth going the distraction route…like now. Not even sure why I’m throwing this out there, but what the hell…it’s just something I decided to do. Might as well stick with it.


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