Breaking Patterns and other random shit

Wow, I really haven’t written here in a long time-and looking back at the last time I wrote here, things just seemed slightly simpler then. In reality they really weren’t: I knew nursing school was coming back to claim the rest of my free time that wasn’t being taken up by work, student org stuff, and the social life stuff too. I just didn’t realize it would take up over a year and a half of time! Besides not writing here, I didn’t post on FB or tweet as much, and trying to keep up with just about every one of my favorite sports teams became an exercise in simply checking the box scores the next day (I love my teams, but I love sleep even more). Was it all work and no play? Hell no, it was a lot of fun with some incredible experiences and probably some of the most rewarding stuff I’ve done over the last year and a half (Red Wings Alumni Game, Winter Classic, and Nick Lidstrom Retirement Night with some of the closest friends I have, traveling down to Crossville, TN for Alternative Spring Break, volunteering at the Heidelberg Project a couple of times, doing a bike tour of Detroit, being part of a PTK officer team that’s accomplished great things on many levels, and even running a 5K with two of my best friends-twice-and getting talked into signing up for a half-marathon next fall-and that barely scratches the surface of all the fun crap I got to do). I wouldn’t trade any of it, because I learned a lot from it and developed so many great friendships along the way. That doesn’t even cover all the amazing friendships I made in the last two years of nursing school either-we all went through hell and back together and I consider them all great friends that will excel in whatever they do. We’re going to be amazing nurses, and I don’t think that’s the least bit arrogant (I’m arrogant in a bunch of ways but I’m confident about that). By many accounts I’m lucky and I don’t think I’m taking that for granted.

Now if you think this is going to be another one of those “New Year, New Me” resolution posts, sorry (or thankfully depending which side of the fence you’re on) but it’s not going to be. Just not a big fan of them-yeah, I’ll always make the “lose more weight/be in a better shape than round” attempt, but they really don’t work for me.

2013-08-01 08.51.11-2

I hope you can read my chicken scratch.

I wrote that note a year and a half ago, and I still have it hanging in my cubicle at work. If I had to make a resolution, that would be it-I just want to be better than I was yesterday. Some days I am, and some days I’m not…but I’ll keep trying. I think overall I’m a good person, although my mouth tends to get me in trouble from time to time (and just about anyone reading this that knows me well is nodding their heads in total agreement). But I know I’ve got some patterns I need to fix, and I’ll get to that in a moment-once I spend a brief moment talking about the year that’s about to go walking out the door.

The great moments in 2014 were great, and there were plenty of them-more than I thought I deserve, but I’m appreciative and thankful everyday. I’ve got some of the most amazing group of friends that I can trust. There were definitely more wins than losses, but the losses were there and they’ll leave scars. I was lucky enough to have some really close friends and family to help out. Even when I’d end up ignoring their advice, they were there to pick me up when their advice turned out to be the right thing to do. I’m not completely innocent or without fault either though, and I guess now’s as good a time as any to see what patterns I can break.

For someone that has few problems running his mouth and making comments (even when he shouldn’t), my communication sucks in other spots and I need to change that (one of my best friends said it perfectly a few weeks ago: “You absolutely suck at communication”). There’s a few things I left unsaid, and I should’ve said them sooner-hell, or even just got around to saying it at all. That was a mistake, and I’ll learn from it. It doesn’t matter at this point, but it’s something I have to keep in mind for the future (and once again, you’d think someone that lets his mouth run free on just about everything else would have no problem making this happen but here we are).

One of the best things a close friend said to me this year was “Well you can’t read the next chapter if you keep rereading the last. Let it go. It’s time to move on.” I’d told her that I’d occasionally let an old relationship cloud what I do, and that was her response. I needed to hear that, and I’ll always remember it.

Anyway, if you’ve made it to the end of this rambling and scrambled post, I appreciate it. I hope your 2015 is absolutely amazing…because I’m pretty confident mine will be. I want that for you too.


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